"Allow Change to Change You"
buoyant advice from a wise being
Many months ago, this wisdom from a beloved mentor came to me like a floatation ring in choppy waters: Allow change to change you! Amid so much collective turbulence, this deceptively simple mantra is my reminder to surrender my urge to control and allow life’s current to carry me when the rapids get rough!
Allowing change to change us takes practice, especially when our cultural bias is to get busy, work hard, muscle through, and steer the ship! The practice of relaxing and allowing the natural flow of life to carry us, rather than paddling against it, can feel terrifying. Although our efforts to push against life’s current are often exhausting and unsuccessful, there’s a comforting familiarity in that strain.
Experience has shown me that it’s my internal force against the flow of life that actually creates my experience of turbulence. As a species, we humans have become quite practiced at resisting life’s natural flow. While our efforts might slow the pace of inevitable change, it also increases discomfort.
Over the years, I’ve learned to reduce (not eliminate!) my resistance to life’s ever-changing currents by surrendering to its mystery. Consistently, I’ve been safely carried through murky, uncharted territory. This doesn’t mean I don’t get scared or experience hardship. It simply means that I’m getting practiced at creating less turbulence, less suffering, in the process.
I’ve now amassed decades of evidence that surrendering to the current of life is not only safe, it becomes joyful. Yet it is not passive. Allowing change to change us does not surrender our sovereignty nor our self-responsibility. We are always captains of our individual, human vessel. We are always responsible for internally steering the rudder of our focus: our intention and our attention.
We steer our vessel by becoming congruent with our own energy. This means learning to be present to the “now moment,” taking time to feel our feelings, articulating the truth of our own experience, and learning to honor and love ourselves, exactly as we are. This level of internal steering reduces our resistance and aligns us with the current of life. Like a hawk effortlessly riding thermals, we align ourselves with life’s movement through active surrender.
In truth, change will always changes us. The question is how much resistance will we mount against it—how much turbulence will we create? Can we get congruent with ourselves and more effortlessly move with the current of life? Can we learn to relax and enjoy the ever-changing ride? These questions are at the heart of my personal practice, as well as my work with others.
Springtime is a powerful energizer. As daylight increases and bright buds burst forth, I too am bursting to move and touch and hug freely, once again! Yet I do not want to return to “normal.” Instead, I want to continually expand my capacity to joyfully allow change to change me.
If you or someone you know would like to energize your relationship with change, the work I offer may be both a catalyst and nourishing support. Your referrals are always appreciated and my introductory calls are always free. You can learn more here.
In the spirit of springtime, may we allow ourselves to be gracefully changed.
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