Stories are powerful medicine. They can lull us into sleep and stimulate us to act. My favorite stories shake up my habitual ways of seeing and provoke a new depth of understanding. In early 2009, my search for such a tale would guide me to discover the story I was being asked to live.
I was in the throes of multiple transitions: I’d just exchanged financial security for greater creative freedom; my beloved canine companion was on her way out; and my marriage was ending. In the mist of all this change, at the precipice of so many unknowns, I felt alone and sought the company of a soul story—one that could help me make sense of where I was and illuminate the path ahead.
Classic tales of gods and humans offered no solace. They left me further bereft. I could not see myself or my longing reflected in them. Then, after weeks of searching, I had a new thought: What if I listened to my own story? I’d been looking outside myself for guidance. Perhaps I was ready for a more direct and personal relationship with Mystery.
Of course, learning to cultivate and trust one’s own access to wisdom that unlocks mysteries is at the heart of every mythic hero’s journey. It’s just that the cloak of patriarchy prevented me from seeing myself in those mythic tales. What I could recognize was the rightness of my new insight; so I relinquished the search for a story or any outside authority to make sense of my journey for me.
I would continue to welcome and value the perceptions of others. It’s just that my relationship with their information was shifting. I did not want to measure my story against the stories of others. I did not want to adopt anyone else’s point of view, nor seek their approval, nor reject or rebel against them. It was clear to me that each of us is the protagonist-hero of our own story. Just as each of us is a messenger-ally in the story of others. My mission was to recognize my countless allies and decipher the hidden messages they are carrying for me.
Over time the landscape of my journey became less challenging. I settled into new rhythms…but not for long. Once again, my path would become shadowed and uncertain. That’s when Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti, appeared. Instantly, I knew it was an important ally and was eager to decipher the message it had for me.
As Kempton explains it, Shakti is the Sanskrit word for power. It points to the Feminine principle of Divine Energy. This has nothing to do with sex or gender, because everything in life is animated by the power of both feminine and masculine energies. Although we humans have rarely valued them equally.
Valuing feminine power would be to relate to all bodies with reverence and respect, rather distain and control. Valuing feminine power would be to honor subjective sensing and intuiting, as well as verifiable observation and reasoning. Valuing feminine power would be to practice receptivity and communion, as well as activity and autonomy.
Like most of us, I’d been educated to favor masculine power over feminine power. Kempton’s book helped me recognize that my hero’s journey was leading me to more fully embrace and embody both. Scholars of western mythology and psychology point out that the hero’s journey is about embracing the feminine. Yet the feminine they speak of resides deep in the unconscious, where Patriarchy suppressed it long ago. Kempton’s telling of Vedic mythology places feminine power in plain sight.
I was enchanted by her narratives of eleven colorful goddesses, and was inspired to dedicate my upcoming two-weeks of personal retreat to exploring their distinct expressions of Shakti. Although I didn’t yet know how I’d do it, my aim was to encounter them directly, to feel their sacred qualities in my human body, and receive the messages they carried for me.
Each morning of my retreat, I’d wake up and select a goddess to meet that day. I’d state my intention to invoke her unique Shakti through an array of improvised practices. Some of these practices were adapted from suggestions in Kempton’s book, others arrived via spontaneous imagining. Typically, I’d start by creating a musical playlist. Making use of Spotify, I’d let myself be mysteriously guided to create a soundtrack for the day’s goddess. Then I’d light candles and incense, and scan the book for words or short passages that expressed the essence of the goddess I was to encounter that day. With those excerpts in hand, I’d use my phone to record for myself a guided meditation that blended Kepton’s words with unexpected messages that seemed to come from the goddess herself.
My senses enlivened by the fragrance of sandalwood, the flicker of candlelight, and the drones of exotic Indian melodies and chants, I’d close my eyes and let my own recorded voice guide me into connection with the goddess. Some arrived swiftly, others took their time, but each goddess eventually communicated to me through mental images, physical sensations, internal whispers, or inexplicable knowings. Each beckoned me to write, dance, sing, shout, cry, laugh, draw, or pray. Sometimes I was inspired to walk outside with a goddess. On these outings, I’d stroll with the simple intent to be receptive to her qualities of Shakti—both inside myself and in the environment around me.
On the day that I met the goddess Lakshmi, who personifies abundant glory and beauty in the natural world, she invited me to walk through flower gardens bordering a local zoo. Near the zoo’s entrance, I happened upon two friends with their toddler son. They chuckled as they pointed out the bright yellow pollen on my nose—evidence that I’d heeded Lakshmi’s encouragement to inhale nearly every spring blossom! Yet golden dust on my nose was not the only radiance they mentioned. By allowing her to guide me, I was somehow transmitting aspects of Lakshmi’s Shakti.
Some days my encounters were intense and deeply meaningful. Others were subtle and peacefully mundane. For those two weeks Awakening Shakti was an empowering ally. In Kempton’s depiction of those Vedic goddesses, I did not find reflections of my human story. Rather, I felt encouraged to directly encounter vast mysteries through my sensuous human body.
Now, years later, my practice of awakening Shakti takes countless forms. It has become a way of life…what one might call a heroine’s journey.
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